My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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