Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
