This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
