you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
