sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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