you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
