Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
