i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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