Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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