My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
