STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
then he tried to convert me to islam
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
