i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
