I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
