Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
