I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
