Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
