Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
