i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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