the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
