I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
