hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
