so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
