If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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