I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
