Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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