i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
