I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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