The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
