she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
