my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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