i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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