hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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