Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
