I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
