my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
