Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Houston, we have a blender
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
