Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
