I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
