Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
