Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
