I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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