if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
