I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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