Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
