Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
