Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
