Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
