worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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