I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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