Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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