Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Last time i carry you out of a forest
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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