I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
